A couple weeks ago Gary posted something very wise on
facebook. Sounds like an oxymoron haha :D but Gary simply is a very wise
person in my opinion. Anyway, what he wrote made me think. It was about
that everyone had a purpose in life and when we feel like nothing works
out, we should remember that we are here for a reason. I am one of
these graduates who does not know what to do after high school. I know I
want to take a year off to volunteer, look and colleges and apply. I
want time for myself to figure out what I want my life to be about. I
want to try new things, experience new things and at the same time
experience old things and remember old plans and dreams and maybe
accomplish and fulfill them. Right now I really do not know where I am
at in life. I do not have a hobby, I am not very athletic, creative and I
cannot play an instrument. Lets not even talk about singing.
So what am I good at? The first thing that comes to my mind is baking. I love baking. I also
start to like cooking more and more. Julie Powell said in the movie Julie and Julia
"You know what I love about cooking? I love that after a day when
nothing is sure, and when I mean nothing, I mean nothing, you can come
home and absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and
sugar and milk, it will get thick."
That is how I feel about it,
too. It is comforting when I am sad, exciting, when I am happy and a
very good thing to do when you are mad. Trust me.
What else am I good at? The second thing that comes to my mind is photography. I am not that great at it but I like my pictures and I think that is the most important part about it. I like taking pictures, capturing something beautiful that looks even more beautiful through the lense. I hope I can treat myself to a good camera and go on photo adventures.
The sad thing is that I cannot think of anything else I am good at. Without hobbies life is boring. But then I think, but you are not good at music and not good at sports and not good at _____. (fill in the blank)
Now stop here for a second. This sounds completely wrong. There is a little word missing in this passage. It took me until today to realize what this word is. Yep, it is that tiny little word yet. So tiny that I kept overlooking it. Who the heck said I could not learn to play an instrument? Who said I was not athletic enough? Oh! Yeah.. That would be me!
Today I was listening, am listening, to Ben Howard. I love his songs and everytime I listen to him I wish I could play the guitar as he can. And why should I not be able to try and learn how to play the guitar? My best friend started playing a couple years ago. She was as good at music as I am. But she liked the sound of a guitar, got herself one and asked her dad to teach her. She does not have the patience to really learn it but she is happy with it and is getting better and better. She plays great in my opinion.
This life is not supposed to be about what you cannot do and what you are not good at. In this life we are supposed to try new things, sometimes fail, but always having fun doing it. So here is my graduation resolution: To try new things. Try to play the guitar, go running and try to become fit. I want to plant veggies in our new yard in the States and I want to cook. I want to get better at photography and learn how to use photoshop. All this studying for school blocks our view on all the other things we can learn that are so much more fun than school.
So find something that you are interested in, try it, learn it and from it, have fun doing it. This life is not ment to be boring. It is ment to be exciting and I want to lead an exciting, rich, happy and beautiful life.
That was a long epiphany. Haha :D Enough with the procrastination. Back to the studying.
Love,
Eileen
.
May 14, 2012
procrastination
Hello there,
It is almost done. Tomorrow I will take my oral final in German and then I will hopefully be finished with studying for a while. I have never studied so hard and so intensely in my entire life. So far it has payed off and I am praying that it will also tomorrow. God has been guiding me and providing for me and I know he will again. It is relaxing to have that faith and trust. I am studying hard, doing my part of the job, the rest is up to him. Either I am ment to get a good grade or not. A lot of my friends have been nervous for weeks because these finals are very important. I was not, especially not after the first final went so well. I think that is the main difference between believers and atheists: We trust and we do not worry so much. Of course we lead our lives and make decisions but always leave it up to God to guide us and know it was the right decision whatever will come out of it. Atheists do not have that trust. Before I was saved I worried about everything. I still did after I was saved. But since I completely laid my life into Gods hands everything has been working out and I am more relaxed than I ever was. This is not about proving that God exists. Faith is a belief. Nothing more and nothing less. But at the same time everything.
"Faith is a way of saying, "Yes, I preaccept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding".
There's a reason we refer to 'leaps of faith' - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith were rational it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark." - Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love
Love,
Eileen
It is almost done. Tomorrow I will take my oral final in German and then I will hopefully be finished with studying for a while. I have never studied so hard and so intensely in my entire life. So far it has payed off and I am praying that it will also tomorrow. God has been guiding me and providing for me and I know he will again. It is relaxing to have that faith and trust. I am studying hard, doing my part of the job, the rest is up to him. Either I am ment to get a good grade or not. A lot of my friends have been nervous for weeks because these finals are very important. I was not, especially not after the first final went so well. I think that is the main difference between believers and atheists: We trust and we do not worry so much. Of course we lead our lives and make decisions but always leave it up to God to guide us and know it was the right decision whatever will come out of it. Atheists do not have that trust. Before I was saved I worried about everything. I still did after I was saved. But since I completely laid my life into Gods hands everything has been working out and I am more relaxed than I ever was. This is not about proving that God exists. Faith is a belief. Nothing more and nothing less. But at the same time everything.
"Faith is a way of saying, "Yes, I preaccept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding".
There's a reason we refer to 'leaps of faith' - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith were rational it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark." - Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love
Love,
Eileen
May 10, 2012
regrets
Hello there, It's been a while. Life has been really busy, filled with studying for my graduation finals, taking them, cleaning out my room for the big move, work and trying to live my life to the fullest. A balance act for pros.
Time seems to fly. Good and bad. Excitement and fear. Beginning and end. I am about to end a long chapter of my life, only to start a new one in another country. It is a weird feeling. I will soon say goodbye to my friends and family. They will all start into a new adventure. Some abroad, some here. I am excited to see who will still keep in touch and who won't. That will be interesting and probably surprising.
I am excited to leave though. I try not to regret anything I have done. Life is way too short for regrets. We make mistakes and sometimes do them again. But eventually we learn from them. A couple weeks ago Ben Howard gave a concert in Cologne. I wanted to get tickets but I was too late. I really regret not having been there. He is such an amazing singer and plays the guitar beautifully. Luckily I got to watch the concert on TV. I wanted to punch myself for having missed it. It was awesome. So incredible. If you haven't heard of him, listen to this. Beautiful, isn't it?
Enough of that. The sky was incredible last night. I took a few pictures of it and played around with them on Picasa.
Love,
Eileen
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Time seems to fly. Good and bad. Excitement and fear. Beginning and end. I am about to end a long chapter of my life, only to start a new one in another country. It is a weird feeling. I will soon say goodbye to my friends and family. They will all start into a new adventure. Some abroad, some here. I am excited to see who will still keep in touch and who won't. That will be interesting and probably surprising.
I am excited to leave though. I try not to regret anything I have done. Life is way too short for regrets. We make mistakes and sometimes do them again. But eventually we learn from them. A couple weeks ago Ben Howard gave a concert in Cologne. I wanted to get tickets but I was too late. I really regret not having been there. He is such an amazing singer and plays the guitar beautifully. Luckily I got to watch the concert on TV. I wanted to punch myself for having missed it. It was awesome. So incredible. If you haven't heard of him, listen to this. Beautiful, isn't it?
Enough of that. The sky was incredible last night. I took a few pictures of it and played around with them on Picasa.
Eileen
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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