Hello there,
It's been quite some time since I last posted anything. There just was nothing to write about. A lot has happened since October 2012. I moved back to Germany to work, I met the most amazing man in the world, introduced my grandparents to the US and the huge Walmart isles and American food, started college in Germany in October and welcomed my family back to Germany. It has been quite the year for us.
Throughout this time my faith grew only stronger and more consistent but my walk with God was a rollercoaster ride at its finest. It is fascinating to see how a change of wallpaper - in my case across the Atlantic Ocean - could change a person entirely. Being in the US, it is easy to feel connected with the Lord because that's where I fell in love with Him. My faith is all about the American way of being a Christian, I read an American study Bible and I pray in English. Not having a loving church community close by makes it even harder to stay focused on the Lord. That is where I trip. - Well, I guess trip is not quite the right word... How about stumbling with flailing arms trying to regain my balance and then crashing against a huge stop sign saying "Geeze you're so dumb, making that same mistake over and over and over again". Yes, that sounds more like it.
Every time I lose sight of the Lord, I change. I change into a person I don't want to be. A person, I don't even like. It takes time for me to see these changes in myself and every time this happens, I slap myself on the forehead. Literally. Because I could have avoided this by learning from the same situation last time. But no, I am human. A very weak human and my only hope is that God will take me back, no matter how often I run away from Him.
The other day I read an article about three mistakes we make in our marriage. The one that struck me was, that we think of ourselves more than we think of our spouse. If we pour all that we have into our spouse, all our love, our happiness, our commitment, that will lift them up so much, that they have so much more to give back to us. Making someone else happy, doesn't only make you happy in return, but that person will have so much more energy and love to help us and encourage us. It's like a mirror, isn't it? Stand in front of your mirror and look really grumpy at yourself. What to you see? How do you feel? Now look sad. Doesn't what you see make you sad as well? And now try smiling. How does that make you feel? I think you get the point.
Our relationship with God is like a marriage. If you give all you have to the Lord, He will reward you. Not necessarily with a good dinner and probably great sex like your spouse will. No, He makes you feel great. You are nicer. You smile more. You see the blessings in your life more clearly. That's what it's like for me anyway.
Take this to heart. Make God, the center of your life. You will be rewarded.
Love,
Eileen
'This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.' Psalm 118:24
